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Spotdog

The following are my impressions, & the words are as I remember them, may not be actual quotes. As September 11, 2002 approaches, I can't help but to relive that day one year ago when my world was forever changed I believed there was some basic good in all people, I believed my country was moderately safe, I believed, in America, one could find a haven from fear. September 11, 2001 forever changed those beliefs. On that frightful day I turned my television on about 9:05 a.m. CDT. I see Bryant Gumble sitting behind his desk as he usually does, but his face looks different. CBS cuts to a live shot of the smoke billowing from the World Trade Center. As Bryant reiterates, "eye witnesses say an aircraft has hit the building." My mind tells me, well some distraught person wanted to part this life in a public spectacle so he flew his small aircraft into the building. I'm okay, I can live with that, my world is still safe. But then Bryant's voice intones, with a note of doubt, "witnesses say the aircraft was a large passenger type aircraft”. Now my mind begins working harder to keep my safe place, safe. My mind says,"Oh no, a pilot got off course or had mechanical problems & ended up killing all of the passengers on board." I continue this line of thinking, "how many people can be on one of those aircraft?" Bryant answers my thoughts, as I must not have been the only one thinking it. Bryant says, a passenger jet the size of one that is being described to us, could hold around three hundred people. My mind wonders, working harder at keeping me in a safe zone, three hundred families, getting the worst news, the loss of a loved one. CBS cuts back to the burning building, & I see with my very own eyes, the unthinkable, the unfathomable, the most horrible sight. Another aircraft flies into the other World Trade Center Tower, unmistakably a passenger plane. The news people are struck speechless for a moment. In that same moment, one fleeting second, my safe world crashes down around me. No more pretense, no matter how hard my mind tries, this cannot be justified as an accident. In that one moment in time, I changed forever, not only I: but all of America & I venture to guess most of the world. I dissolve into tears as I pick up the phone & dial my spouse, the one I lean on, my support system, at least I can hear their voice & know my immediate family is intact. I want to warn them, life is changing, war has once again been brought to our land. I dial up my friend away at college to warn her, as I know she won't have her television on, I don't want her to hear the shocking news after she gets to class. As I hang up the phone, my world crashes even lower, I didn't think it could, I see a live picture from Washington, DC, where a plane has crashed into the Pentagon Building, this can't be happening. Now my son, age ten,, whom I homeschool, enters the room & inquires as to why I am crying, I silently point at the television screen. He doesn’t comprehend, his mind is still capable of feeling safe. How does one take that from one’s child? How can I possibly explain? I have him sit down & tell him, the rest of school today will come from the television. History is playing out right before our very eyes. Geography will be covered as we discover who’s from where & who’s going to where. Of course politics, government & Bible will all roll across our screen before the day is out. We, my son & I, now hear that the FAA has ordered all American air space closed & all aircraft landed. I think good! Take the weapons from the enemies, but how long will it take, a monumental task at best to get hem all landed somewhere. I can not imagine fighter jets patrolling our air space. Will it be like this forever? Then yet another shock to the system, a plane has crashed in Pennsylvania. I think, how much more can we take? The death toll, in my mind, is at around twelve hundred, & I haven’t even thought of those inside the Twin Towers or on the ground. A strange thing happens to me. I’m afraid to watch the television any longer yet I can’t leave it, lest more events unfold. Sure enough here was more yet to come. Video flows across my screen, men & women jumping from the higher floors of those towers, my mind asks, “how terrible must it be up there, if jumping to your certain death is a better choice?” I can’t even imagine. Now choking smoke billows up, what can have happened now? More explosions? The television once again answers my unspoken question. Folks, that is not smoke that is dust & debris, one of the towers has collapsed. The images I see now are of ghosts appearing from the dust, they look like they’ve just arrived here from hell, & I believe they feel like they have. So far they have lived through death & destruction; fear & desolation, yes, they’ve visited hell. Of course, they are not literally ghosts; they are people covered in dust & ash running for their lives, running from the sudden darkness to the light. Hoping to find safety somewhere. Everyone knows the final outcome, two towers destroyed, four planes crashed, thousands dead & a military action undertaken that is still going on today. Of all the images that flashed by that day, & they are too numerous to tell, one of the images that I remember so vividly is the look on President Bush’s face as an advisor interrupts the President, who is reading books to elementary school students in Florida, leans down & whispers in the President’s ear. I saw a look of determination, a look of control, & a look of sadness as the President of the United States of America rose from his chair & went from being a man reading to children to a man in charge. I find hope in his demeanor, his quick step, his rapid exit, & then in the carrying out of the emergency plans to separate the President & the Vice-president. Some people feel the President should be visible comforting the nation, I find myself comforted in the fact that he is not visible for someone to target. Comforted in the fact that he is behind the scenes putting together a plan to restore some hope to the people of this nation. Can there be any hope again? A year later, looking back, I can honestly answer, yes, there can be hope again. I saw pure evil, death & destruction on a grand scale, & from that I saw heroes, not Hollywood heroes, who ride off into the sunset, real heroes, who do their job, who put their own lives at risk to save others, & if they survive, they go back to prepare to do it again. Some were not expected heroes, some were just people who decided they would give up their lives rather than allow terrorists to kill even more Americans on this day. True heroes. I love the resurgence of patriotism, to hear our congress stand on the Capitol steps & sing “God Bless America”, brought me to tears. Hearing “The Star Spangled Banner” played by foreign countries to honor America, again, brought me to tears, to hear of men on foreign warships saluting our military personnel, brought even more tears. Some good came out of the bad & my prayer is that America, or the world for that matter, would never again slip into complacency. In all honesty, I still look up when I hear an aircraft overhead & I avoid really crowded places, I listen when the government warns of possible further attacks. But for the most part, I’m living my life. Granted I’m more aware of how precious life is & how quickly it can be taken, more appreciative of what I have in my life, & certainly more aware of the sacrifices made by those who fight to keep us “safe” & free. But you know, I’ve decided, fear is the goal of the terrorists & if I can go on & live my life, if American can pick up the pieces & move forward, then they haven’t won. A year later I can say terrorists have not won.

-Spotdog